A Texan went up to the airline check-in counter and boomed, "Howdy, ma'am. My name's Brown, spelled B-R-O-W-N. Ah'm from Dallas, Texas. Ah'm 6-foot 3-inches tall. Ah'm white from th' top of mah head to th' tip of mah toes, and I hate the Irish."
Well, she didn't know what else to do, so she took his ticket and showed him onto the plane.
He sat down in his seat, and turned to the fellow next to him, "Howdy, suh. My name's Brown, spelled B-R-O-W-N. Ah'm from Dallas, Texas. Ah'm 6-foot 3-inches tall. Ah'm white from th' top of mah head to th' tip of mah toes, and I hate the Irish."
The little fellow turned to him, "Well now, how d'ye do. My name is Patrick Michael O'Donnell. I'm from Dublin, Ireland. I'm 5-foot 6- inches tall, and I'm white from the top o' me head to the tip o' me toes, except for my rectum, which is brown. Spelled B-R-O-W-N."
More Jokes On Several Topics-Jokes
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Aishwarya makes up with Sanjay Leela Bhansali
Aishwarya Rai Bachchan has fulfilled another one of her dreams.
She has patched up with her 'Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam' and 'Devdas' director Sanjay Leela Bhansali.
The inside buzz is that she's been trying that for a long time. Quite understandably so! After all, many have felt and said that he's one director who brings out the best in her.
Well, that seems quite a correct analysis considering the fact that even though her films with others like 'Dhoom 2' and 'Guru' have done well; she hasn't really walked away with all the accolades.
The icing on the cake is that the venture will also be on a grand scale like 'Devdas'. Moreover in the movie she's opposite Hrithik Roshan with whom her on screen chemistry simply rocks.
Not surprisingly Ash on her part is quite grateful to the director who has given her two of the biggest films of her career.
She doesn't really care about the fiasco that 'Saawariya' was. If all goes well, the film will go on floors by the middle of next year
Bhansali has finally got over the sorrow he felt after his poetry in motion-'Saawariya' flopped. That movie was slammed by audiences and critics alike.
By the way, SRK's loss is Hrithik's gain.
The buzz is that the director was quite angry at the actor for making fun of 'Saawariya' at a film award function and calling it a 'blue' film. The news is that he's sworn never to work with SRK again.
As for Ash, she and The Bachchans just celebrated the 70th birthday bash of her sick father.
She managed to take some time off from the jungles of Kochi where she is currently shooting for Mani Ratnam's biggie 'Raavan'.
This is one actress who really knows how to balance her personal and professional life!
She has patched up with her 'Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam' and 'Devdas' director Sanjay Leela Bhansali.
The inside buzz is that she's been trying that for a long time. Quite understandably so! After all, many have felt and said that he's one director who brings out the best in her.
Well, that seems quite a correct analysis considering the fact that even though her films with others like 'Dhoom 2' and 'Guru' have done well; she hasn't really walked away with all the accolades.
The icing on the cake is that the venture will also be on a grand scale like 'Devdas'. Moreover in the movie she's opposite Hrithik Roshan with whom her on screen chemistry simply rocks.
Not surprisingly Ash on her part is quite grateful to the director who has given her two of the biggest films of her career.
She doesn't really care about the fiasco that 'Saawariya' was. If all goes well, the film will go on floors by the middle of next year
Bhansali has finally got over the sorrow he felt after his poetry in motion-'Saawariya' flopped. That movie was slammed by audiences and critics alike.
By the way, SRK's loss is Hrithik's gain.
The buzz is that the director was quite angry at the actor for making fun of 'Saawariya' at a film award function and calling it a 'blue' film. The news is that he's sworn never to work with SRK again.
As for Ash, she and The Bachchans just celebrated the 70th birthday bash of her sick father.
She managed to take some time off from the jungles of Kochi where she is currently shooting for Mani Ratnam's biggie 'Raavan'.
This is one actress who really knows how to balance her personal and professional life!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Madonna .A-Rod Share Turkey
Rumor has it the pair plans to spend Thanksgiving together at Alex Rodriguez’s place in New York.
Could Madonna and A-Rod be stepping out as a couple? Well, more like stepping in.
Access Hollywood broke the story after receiving a copy of an email from Rodriguez’s ex Cynthia to a friend. The email reads, “My 6-foot-3, 220-pound soul-less, soon-to-be ex-husband is abandoning his kids on Thanksgiving to be with Madonna … She called and he ran on her command back to New York City ... Gross!”
And who’s on the guest list? According to Page Six; Madonna, her kids Lourdes, Rocco and David and their mutual manager, Guy Oseary will attend the holiday feast at A-Rod’s Manhattan apartment.
Cynthia filed for divorce from her New York Yankee husband last July after five years of marriage while Madonna and her husband Guy Ritchie just received a preliminary divorce on Friday.
Celebrities-http://tinyurl.com/63akc8
Monday, November 24, 2008
Error Messages
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire become a great writer.
When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
More Jokes-Jokes Feed
Celibraty-Shannon Tweed
When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
More Jokes-Jokes Feed
Celibraty-Shannon Tweed
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Personalities(jokes)
Personalities
Nelson Mandela is at home watching the box, when there is a knock at his door. He gets up and answers it, there is a Chinese bloke with clipboard, and behind him is a lorry full of exhaust pipes.
"You sign, you sign," yells the Chinese.
Nelson looks at the truck and tells the Chinese bloke that he has got the wrong bloke.
Next day Nelson is watching a film when there is a knock on his door. It's the same Chinese bloke and behind him is truck full of brake parts.
"You Sign, You Sign," screams the Chinese bloke and pushes the clipboard under Nelson's nose.
"Look you Twat,” snarls Nelson "You've got the wrong bloke. I don't want brake parts, you've got the wrong bloke again."
Next day Nelson is sitting in the chair reading a magazine, when there is a knock on the door. It's the Chinese bloke again, behind him are two trucks filled with engine parts.
The Chinese bloke screams at Nelson, "You sign, you sign."
Well that's it Nelson loses his wig and picks the Chinese bloke up by his shirt and yells, "Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong man! Who do you want to give these to?"
The Chinese bloke looks at his clipboard and says, "You not Nissan Maindealer?"
A true story from the Japanese Embassy in US:
Laloo Prasad was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets with President Bill Clinton.
The instructor told Laloo, "Laloo ji, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say how are you . Then Mr. Clinton should say, "I am fine, and you?" Now you should say me too. Afterwards we, translators, will do all the work for you."
It looks quite simple, but the truth is ....
When Laloo Prasad met Clinton, he mistakenly said, "Who Are you?".
Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor: "Well, I am Hilary`s husband, ha ha...”
Then Mori replied confidently, "Me too, ha ha ha."
Then there was a long silent moment in the meeting room.
Next jokes-Law/Lawyers
Nelson Mandela is at home watching the box, when there is a knock at his door. He gets up and answers it, there is a Chinese bloke with clipboard, and behind him is a lorry full of exhaust pipes.
"You sign, you sign," yells the Chinese.
Nelson looks at the truck and tells the Chinese bloke that he has got the wrong bloke.
Next day Nelson is watching a film when there is a knock on his door. It's the same Chinese bloke and behind him is truck full of brake parts.
"You Sign, You Sign," screams the Chinese bloke and pushes the clipboard under Nelson's nose.
"Look you Twat,” snarls Nelson "You've got the wrong bloke. I don't want brake parts, you've got the wrong bloke again."
Next day Nelson is sitting in the chair reading a magazine, when there is a knock on the door. It's the Chinese bloke again, behind him are two trucks filled with engine parts.
The Chinese bloke screams at Nelson, "You sign, you sign."
Well that's it Nelson loses his wig and picks the Chinese bloke up by his shirt and yells, "Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong man! Who do you want to give these to?"
The Chinese bloke looks at his clipboard and says, "You not Nissan Maindealer?"
A true story from the Japanese Embassy in US:
Laloo Prasad was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets with President Bill Clinton.
The instructor told Laloo, "Laloo ji, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say how are you . Then Mr. Clinton should say, "I am fine, and you?" Now you should say me too. Afterwards we, translators, will do all the work for you."
It looks quite simple, but the truth is ....
When Laloo Prasad met Clinton, he mistakenly said, "Who Are you?".
Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor: "Well, I am Hilary`s husband, ha ha...”
Then Mori replied confidently, "Me too, ha ha ha."
Then there was a long silent moment in the meeting room.
Next jokes-Law/Lawyers
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Kareena:I want to get married and have children with Saif
Kareena Kapoor and Saif Ali Khan have been together for more than a year now. Her love life with Shahid Kapur never really made so much news but with Saif, she's been painting the town red for months now. They have been 'joined at the hip' and their off screen pairing has made more news than their careers.
Bebo has recently opened up more in an exclusive interview with PEOPLE magazine and has talked in detail about family approval, marriage, kids and the challenges of being in love.
She's said, "I want to get married and have children. I would do anything to keep a relationship going. For me, time is a very precious commodity and I'm always there for Saif.
And that says a lot. It's very easy to talk about fidelity, loyalty and swimming the seven seas but considering the lives we lead, I think the most important thing in a relationship is the amount of time you can spend with each other."
She's made it clear that she has had no problems with Saif being married before. In fact she respects Saif's ex wife Amrita a lot!
She adds, "Not really. I respect the fact that Saif was married before and has two lovely children. I have been a fan of Amrita Singh.
haven't met her ever but I know her through her films. For me, she'll always have a place of importance in his life because she is Saif Ali Khan's first wife and the mother of his children. And, I've told Saif this.
I would want her to have that kind of respect always. This is what my parents have taught me. At the end of the day, it was just a marriage that didn't work out. I have always encouraged Saif to be friends with her because I think that would be great.
I guess they will just need time but that's something that they would need to deal with. I will always respect her. As far as any other relationship of Saif is concerned, I don't think they really mattered."
She sees a future ahead with Saifu too.
She's said, "Of course, we do talk about the future. If I was to imagine what it would be like 30 or 40 years from now, I see Saif and me on a yacht, sailing across the world."
It will be great to see another rare real life pairing lasting so long in the big bad world of Bollywood.
Bebo has recently opened up more in an exclusive interview with PEOPLE magazine and has talked in detail about family approval, marriage, kids and the challenges of being in love.
She's said, "I want to get married and have children. I would do anything to keep a relationship going. For me, time is a very precious commodity and I'm always there for Saif.
And that says a lot. It's very easy to talk about fidelity, loyalty and swimming the seven seas but considering the lives we lead, I think the most important thing in a relationship is the amount of time you can spend with each other."
She's made it clear that she has had no problems with Saif being married before. In fact she respects Saif's ex wife Amrita a lot!
She adds, "Not really. I respect the fact that Saif was married before and has two lovely children. I have been a fan of Amrita Singh.
haven't met her ever but I know her through her films. For me, she'll always have a place of importance in his life because she is Saif Ali Khan's first wife and the mother of his children. And, I've told Saif this.
I would want her to have that kind of respect always. This is what my parents have taught me. At the end of the day, it was just a marriage that didn't work out. I have always encouraged Saif to be friends with her because I think that would be great.
I guess they will just need time but that's something that they would need to deal with. I will always respect her. As far as any other relationship of Saif is concerned, I don't think they really mattered."
She sees a future ahead with Saifu too.
She's said, "Of course, we do talk about the future. If I was to imagine what it would be like 30 or 40 years from now, I see Saif and me on a yacht, sailing across the world."
It will be great to see another rare real life pairing lasting so long in the big bad world of Bollywood.
Santabanta
G-Salma Hayek still waiting for soccer lessons from Beckham
Salma Hayek is still owed a soccer lesson by David Beckham.The ‘Frida’ actress paid £175,000 for a one-hour private lesson with the soccer star at a New York charity auction hosted by Madonna in February — outbidding formidable American Vogue editor Anna Wintour in the process — but has yet to claim her prize.
The pair have reportedly had difficulty securing a date for the coaching session due to David’s sporting commitments and Salma’s acting obligations.
A spokesman for David said: “As yet, we haven’t been able to sort out a date that suits all parties.” As yet, we haven’t been able to sort out a date that suits all parties.
However, it seems unlikely the lesson will take place in the near future.David, who currently plays for Los Angeles Galaxy, is to move to Italy early next year, following his decision to sign a short-term contract with AC Milan.
Salma, 42, can next be seen in action adventure movie ‘Cirque du Freak’ alongside Willem Dafoe and John C. Reilly.
The pair have reportedly had difficulty securing a date for the coaching session due to David’s sporting commitments and Salma’s acting obligations.
A spokesman for David said: “As yet, we haven’t been able to sort out a date that suits all parties.” As yet, we haven’t been able to sort out a date that suits all parties.
However, it seems unlikely the lesson will take place in the near future.David, who currently plays for Los Angeles Galaxy, is to move to Italy early next year, following his decision to sign a short-term contract with AC Milan.
Salma, 42, can next be seen in action adventure movie ‘Cirque du Freak’ alongside Willem Dafoe and John C. Reilly.
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